Comfortable in their own skin

What does the perfect body look like? To Mary-Berkley Gaines, there’s not a single answer.

“There’s no right or wrong way to have a body. Every body’s a good body,” Gaines said.

Gaines is the creator of Beautiful Bodies of Birmingham, a website and grassroots movement of acceptance for bodies of all heights, weights, shapes, skin colors, genders and abilities. It started with her own fashion blog and plus-size modeling opportunities, then Gaines said she began seeing more plus-size models “killing it” in fashion and makeup.

“This was the representation I was looking for and needed my entire life,” Gaines said.

In April 2015 she put together her first photo shoot of a group of like-minded friends, and in November 2015 the Beautiful Bodies site went live. Gaines said her goal is to counter the most prevalent body type in fashion: white, straight and thin.

“I realized locally there’s such a need for this. It’s more than just fashion; it’s connected. There’s a need for a radical change in how we think about ourselves and others,” Gaines said. “This movement is all about proper representation, representing the marginalized.”

It’s not just a movement about weight. The Beautiful Bodies project is about creating respect for people’s differences and reversing the mental harm that can come from feeling like you don’t measure up. Right now it’s a side project, but Gaines said she’d like it to become her full-time job.

“It’s almost the millennial way of thinking. We’re going to figure it out and make our way as we go along,” Gaines said. “This is an organization run by women, and these are women of color, women of size, non-able-bodied women, queer women.”

They started with a website, where one of its regular features is the “Skin Stories” series. Birmingham residents open up about their personal experiences and struggles, along with a photo shoot designed around promoting the beauty of their individual body, on the Beautiful Bodies blog.

“Many people have felt it was kind of a breakthrough when they did it,” Gaines said.

One Skin Stories participant is Tiffany Mueller, who stumbled across the project online. Having been plus-size most of her life, Mueller said she has been interested for years in promoting body positivity. With a background in clothing retail, Mueller already was aware of the sometimes-narrow definition of beauty that brands can promote.

“I never really wanted to work anywhere where I couldn’t wear the clothes or I couldn’t wear the products. That didn’t feel fair to me,” Mueller said.

When she decided to do a Skin Story of her own, Mueller said, “every step of the way was just full of support.”

One of her challenges was deciding how to frame her story. With other Skin Stories focusing on eating disorders, abuse and life traumas, Mueller said she was afraid her own story of accepting and feeling confident in her size would seem shallow. 

The experience of being vulnerable, both in her writing and on camera, was cathartic, Mueller said. She chose to wear a bikini for her photo shoot, for the first time in about a decade.

“There’s something to be said for getting it off of your chest,” Mueller said. “Parts of it were scary because you’re baring your soul to the internet.”

She remembers clearly the day the story was published.

“I was just clicking refresh like every other minute,” she laughed.

When it was published, readers didn’t find Mueller’s Skin Story shallow. Instead, she said people began reaching out to let her know they had felt and experienced the same things, and they were happy to know they weren’t alone.

“Once it was live, I got so many messages of just love and support and everything. I had people reach out to me that I hadn’t talked to in two or five or 10 years … and tell me how thankful they were that I told this story,” Mueller said.

“My phone died twice that night,” she added, recalling the texts, calls, emails and even Snapchats she received.

The Skin Stories aren’t Beautiful Bodies’ only project. Gaines said they are working with artists to do installations related to body positivity, as well as producing a local ’zine. They’ve made an appearance at every Punk Rock Flea Market, held at Saturn once per season, and Gaines has a goal of doing more pop-ups this year.

“We’re all about getting out in the community, and people knowing us,” Gaines said.

Gaines said the project is a resource for clothing swaps, and Beautiful Bodies is seeking a physical location downtown. Once they have a spot, Gaines plans on hosting classes and workshops related to topics of self-love, confidence, respect and judgment of others and “how to progress as a human.”

Another idea she’s considering is hosting free yoga classes where participants don’t have to be athletic or able-bodied to participate.

Though the term “safe space” is sometimes derided, Gaines said Beautiful Bodies will make it a point that all its events are places where anyone can attend and feel respected. She said these classes and workshops could be an important tool for the city because many people don’t realize how the way they talk and think ― about themselves and others ― can have an impact. “A lot of people don’t have resources for that,” Gaines said.

As they build more awareness of the Beautiful Bodies project in Birmingham, Gaines said most of the community response has been positive. She emphasized that body positivity and self-confidence are far from simple, clear-cut issues.

“Everyone struggles with something,” Gaines said. “You can still go through a hard time and still be considered marginalized in one way and privileged in another. It’s pretty much to the point [that] we’re all in this together.”

Find Beautiful Bodies of Birmingham on beautifulbodiesofbham.com or on Facebook.